11 weeks + 6 days
After the excitement and weight of the two pink lines sinks in, I think every expectant mom begins counting down the days to twelve-weeks, the hope of lessening morning sickness, the anticipation of a little round bump, sharing the joyful news of the little nugget with friends and family, and, of course, the promise that this baby is here to stay.
For me, for our family, for this tiny baby, the countdown ended at eleven weeks and six days.
Although today--week twelve--we are overwhelmed with sadness as I hold my empty belly, still swollen from the last three months of growth, we are grateful for this little life. We remember the overwhelming joy with which we began the new year, the hope of meeting our sweet baby, due exactly one year after our first miscarriage, and the promise of new life. We still cling to that promise and believe our home will soon be filled with loud, funny, opinionated, sweet, messy children.
So my dear, tiny baby, I must write you a different letter than I wrote just two days ago. I guess there are really only a couple things to say now. We love you deeply; we miss you dearly. We would do it all over again for you.
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| Baby "Dot" 8 weeks + 1 day |
11 weeks + 5 days: The letter I thought I would be sharing today. I wrote it as a conclusion or reconciliation to the letter that I wrote and shared after my first miscarriage.
My sweet baby-
We are so happy that you are here and so happy that you are growing. We wait in joyful hope for your arrival this September as we remember our tiniest baby that we lost early last fall.
I am grateful for these first months with you, for the queasy mornings, insatiable hunger, and whoosh-whoosh of your thumping heart. I'm grateful for the time to dream of what your little face will look like and what your sister's will look like when she meets you face-to-face. I can't wait to give you a name, smell your soft hair, and show you the best parts of our world: sunshine, music, grandparents and Christmas. We pray for unending time with you.
I am grateful for your sacred life, for the chance to be your mom, and for the time that we get to share as one body. We are so happy that you are here and so happy that you are growing.
Love, Mama
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| 5 weeks |
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| 10 weeks |
